The Rain on Christmas

Well Merry Christmas (and a belated Happy Thanksgiving)to all. I know it's been a while but the hecticness of Christmas at the mall is finally over... hence the first blog in over a month. I seriously haven't even opened this sight in like a month.

Today was a very mellow day.... I sat home.. just me and the kid, completely enjoyimg the solitude of it all. Again it rained on and off all day so best bet was to stay inside and that's exactly what we did.

A bunch of stuff happened in the last month... so I'll bullet point it and catch everyone up.
So here it is in no particular order

~Went to the base Christmas tree lighting.. always strikes me as kinda crazy when you get to watch the Christmas tree get lit in shorts and a tee and it's like 70 degrees.


There was a grammar school choir who sang a jingle bells song version of Santa being fat and the 60 year old choir director decided to do a solo and she was terrible. I taped her and actually thought about putting her up on YouTube. The punkin loves the lights so everynight we drive past the tree on the way home.. Since I didn't put up a tree this year, it's like our own tradition.. just the 2 of us.

~The Hub got promoted and finally made his E5... and we got our report date for West Point..so we'll be back east by August.. so if anyone wants to hang .. let me know.

~Dec 6 .. he was officially gone a year..and that means I've been writing this blog for a year. It went by way faster than I thought it would.. and now we are at the less than 2 month mark from home. I have to admit I do kind of dred having to share my house and bathroom with another person again , even if it is the Hub .For those who started late on my blog (and are actually still reading it).. here's the first post.. And so it begins..... I was a way more entertaining blogger back than.

~The squatter asked if he could move back in with us when they get back from Iraq.. and was told a resounding NO! The hubby blamed me, but it was him.. it's ok, he can blame me all he wants.

~Work was insane.. people are crazy this time of year. Black Friday was ridiculous, I had a girl pass out in the store at 845am waiting in line because she didnt eat. Since she was only 15 and was shopping with her friend .She was an unaccompanied minor and had to be taken away in the ambulance. She was fine.... just stupid. We did over 20 grand that day and were the #11 store in the company that day. Oh the craziness.

~There were 2 rushings of the punkin to the ACC. One for pink eye.. the other for an inflamed tonsil. The pink eye didn't worry me so much but the tonsil was so big in the back of her throat I completely freaked. Then she had a reaction to her medicine.. nothing serious but it just seems to be 1thing after the other. Her tonsil is still crazy big... i wonder if it doesn't go down if they'll have to take them out.

~My friend *J* threw a Christmas party at her house and turned the air down to like 60 so it was freezing cold and felt like winter. It was a blast and I finally learned the true definition of a "white elephant" gift .

~We've had 2 Video conference things to see my hubby since the one on Halloween. The last one was terrible.. the signal kept dropping and towards the end I couldn't hear him. It didn't really matter though... he got to see the punkin run around and stuff.

~I got totally obsessed with the Twilight craze... granted I had jumped on the bandwagon way before everyone else.(TEAM JACOB-CUZ REAL MEN DON'T SPARKLE DAMMIT!) I do have to admit I was way disappointed by the movie. So I'm kinda over it. I have started reading her book The Host.. started out kinda slow but now not so bad.

~Both my neighbors upstairs have moved out and they are completely renovating both apts. New screen doors, ceiling fans, the whole nine.. I think they are getting hardwood floors. It sure sounds like they are getting floors.. its really loud. This whole place is like unbelievably empty.... ever since the other Brigade left... even all the wives went home. I'm like one of 7 or 8 people left on my block.. but hey at least there's no traffic

~ I did the punkins xmas pictures for the christmas cards myself.. they came out pretty kick butt. I posted the semi fuzzy /far awayish ones.. just cuz you all know I don't like to post pics of the fam or the kid. Yay for snapfish and their very cool card selections. Yes that bottom one is right outside my patio gate.

Otherwise I think that is really everything. I am going to try and make a more conscience effort to blog... hopefully it will make these last 2 months go by super fast.

Merry Christmas all... hope you are all doing well. I'll try and catch up on all your lives in the next few days.

Decisions, Decisions

So I meant to blog yesterday but I fell asleep .. and then I meant to blog the day before but my power went out. So fingers crossed I'll finish this blog.

I've decided that I'm going to continue blogging, I'm sure that within the upcoming months with the hubby coming home and the PCS move I'll prolly need to vent and bitch. My current blogs may be as spuratic as they are now.. but they'll be around.

Next I've decided that I'm quitting my job. Probably not long after Christmas, my date is very tentative. I love my job but my last few months here, I'd really like to be able to spend it with the Hub, the punkin and really just enjoy Hawaii. Once I get back over to the mainland I'm sure I'll start back up again.. maybe even try something different. I'm not sure what but I guess time will tell.

I'm just getting to the point where I'm ready to move on from here. Once I finally leave here, I will never come back.

Hawaii has been a huge part of my life for the last ten years but the memories and friends (Good and bad) will be with me forever but I'm ready for it all to finally be in the past. A lot of my memories here ....I basically was alone. Yet, there are some memories that no matter how hard I try.. they ain't going anywhere. I also know that once I leave here there will be some people that I will never keep in touch with... that's sad to me but a fact of life. Another sad fact is.. I'm kinda okay with that.

I'm ready to go.

Homeward Bound

Well today is re-enlistment day. The Hub is officially staying a soldier for another 6 years. God help us... well .. help me. LOL.

They are doing some Veteran's Day Re-Up ceremony.. so Hubby was all over that and had to re-enlist to be part of that. There was another reason why Hubby had to re-enlist basically ASAP.

Since the hub had passed the promotion board, we had been throwing around a lot of ideas on where we should go next. Whether he wanted to change his MOS. He wanted to stay here... I told him if he re-enlisted to stay on this island.. he'd be staying by himself cuz I was not spending another 3 years here. Needless to stay he passed on that idea.

He also wanted to go to a non-deploying unit. He felt like he missed so much of the punkin's early days that he didn't want to miss anything else...so it began.

I wanted to go south.. he wanted to go back to Jersey. I didn't want to go back to Jersey... I just came from there. I wanted to be close to home..but far enough away to not be bothered all the time. He said middle east coast VA/DC/MD. We bounced around a couple of places and finally decided on a place. Then was he going to be able to get into a non-deploying slot. Oh the Drama.

The place we decided on was closed .. so he had to apply to see if there was going to be a slot open at the time ,we were due to peace out of this place. He said usually you get a yes or no answer within like a day or 2.

A week and a half ago he put in for the slot... and we waited. Day one and 2 passed with no word. Hub said that was normal. Then day 3 and 4 passed.. with still no word. I started to get discouraged but the Hub said not getting an immediate response was a good sign cuz if the slot was closed they would've came right back and said no. Another whole day went by when at like 4 am the following morning i get this text message:

"Guess what? We be going to West Point, I got the notice today. Luv you"

That's right we are headed to West Point. Which is super exciting for me... since it basically is only an hour drive from home for us. After spending all this time alone.. I get to hang out with my friends and fam AND the Hub is not deploying. Everyone back home is really happy. I think they are more excited to see our kid then actually us,LOL. Hub is just excited for Army football and the close distance to Yankee Stadium. Oh the priority.

The hub is locked-in but needed to re-up sooner than later to make sure it stays ours. So today is that day... and hopefully the Army doesn't screw anything up within the next 8 months.

Now I've been to visit West Point and gone to Bear Mountain a few times, but if anyone (all 4 of you that still read my terrible blog) has any suggestions, advice or just general info I could use I'll gladly take it.

The countdowns begin.

Another day, another post.

So on thursday the punkin turned 2! I bought her an Alice in Wonderland dress and that was her birthday dress.(Benefit of a Halloweenish birthday!) She was so cute.

Hard to believe that my little girl is 2, it went by so fast I can't believe it.
This whole year went by super fast.. which I guess is a good thing.. considering my hubby left in December. Only a few months left.

For Halloween she was Minnie Mouse.I never post pics but I am breaking my rule cuz she just looked so adorable!!!She was totally amused with the whole concept of trick or treating thing. When she got tired I would have to carry her from house to house... but always wanted to walk up to the house herself.



Lastly after trick or treating.. we had our first VTC(video teleconference) with the hubby in Iraq. His computer is not completely working so hence no webcam. This was the first time we got to see each other since he was home in April. He got to see the punkin all dressed up in her costume. It was really great to see him, I miss him bunches.

Only like 3 more months... I hope it goes fast.

I do want to post... I think.

Most days I don't want to write. It feels more like a chore than anything else.

I can't decide if it's just the fall funk or if I really don't want to do this anymore.

This time of year always gets me like super bummed. There's never enough time, work is always insane and even though fall is my favorite season... this is the worst time of year for me emotionally. It really doesn't help that my hubby is deployed and I'm stuck out here pretty much by myself

Maybe it's just that I don't have time or I just don't think I have anything really worth blogging about. I've been debating whether or not I want to keep blogging for the past month or so now.

This deployment is slowly coming to an end and the whole point of the blog was to have a place to vent, bitch, yada yada throughout the whole thing. Apparently (knock on wood) it's been way more uneventful than I thought it was going to be.

So now I've come to a crossroads.. and I'm still debating.

Sigh

SUCCESS

Finally. My hubby is promotable!!!!!!

The Hub went to the Promotion board and passed.

He was like super nervous and freaking out all day the other day. Totally thought he was going to get kicked out of the board.

Apparently he did like super well and was 1 point shy of perfect at the board. Now we wait for the point spread and hopefully the rest of his pending points will give him enough points to actually get promoted.

Keep your fingers crossed!!!!!

I had so much more I wanted to blog about.. I just can't remember.
I guess that's a sign I should go to bed.

Milestones

So the punkin pee'd in the potty for the first time the other morning.
I was so excited youd've thought I won the lottery.

The fact that I was so excited..... made her clap and yell yay!!

She hasn't done it again since.
Now she just sits there... with her clothes on.

It's amazing what motherhood does to a person that peeing can bring such happiness.lol.

My other Milestone is that we've only got about 4 months left of this deployment.
That's only 20 burrito nights to go.

Downswing

Just as things are starting to look up...I should know better.

The hub's grandmother passed away this weekend.

She had cancer..... we only found out about 3 days before she passed. The Hub's family didn't want to tell anyone she was that sick... I guess they didn't want anyone to worry. So it was kind of sudden... sort of.

The past few days have been very hectic seeing if the Hub would be able to get emergency leave.. to get home for the funeral. He was denied. I feel terrible that he is so far away all alone... I wish there was something I could do for him.

I wish I had some great story or funny anecdote to tell but truth is I only met her twice maybe three times. I'm sorry my daughter won't get to really know here.

She was greatly loved and will be sadly missed.
RIP Grandma Marge.

Psycho .. party of one.

So Saturday night was another Parent's Night Out.

Instead of actually going out we decided to stay in and just BBQ because not all kids could be watched. Usually it's the same four or five of us... this is our clique. Not by any means do we portray to be the "cool kids".. basically we're a bunch of old NKOTB fans. We are very accepting since we are all in the same boat.. and we let anyone hang out with us.

Anyways this week, there was an extra person invited to our bi-weekly Pow-wow. She is new to the island and her daughter is friends with my friends kid. So feeling bad that she was new.. she was invited to hang out.

She seemed normal enough at first. Then she did the first of many very strange things... and you'll see why.

We are standing in the living room and she whips out her phone goes something along the lines of "Hey I need all your phone #'s.. you first!" she looks at *T*. *T* relucently gives her # and then I'm standing next to her.. and she's like "you next". At that point I didn't know what to do so I gave it up. She then proceeds to call both of us and says " here this way you have me in your phone already".

*T* and I look at each other with this really confused look. I think maybe she's just lonely cause she's in a new place and just chalk it up to her newness.

About a half hour goes by and food is done so we sit outside around the patio table to eat. So "Newbie" looks up and goes.. ok.. so everyone tell me about yourself. We all looked at each other and really no one said anything. We all know each other and really don't think there's anything to tell. To break the silence I go " I work". Newbie goes.. everyone here is stay a home moms so we all work. ( Are you kidding me .. i know that.) I realize at this point it's all downhill tonight.

Newbie proceeds to start her life story. I paraphrase " Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm not embarrassed by this but I thought I'd let you all know I'm Bi-Polar" At that exact moment punkin starts calling for me and one of *L*'s kids bring her out to me. I have to get up and go inside but I never get to hear the rest of the story.

I come back outside about 10 minutes later and she's still talking and all my friends basically just have "deer in the headlights " look on their faces. For the next half hour everyone rotates in and out of the house from the table and this lady never shut up. She talked about extremely inappropriate things that no one really gave a crap about. Hot guys, her sex life, her husband .. a lot of it I blocked out. It got so bad that *J* and I started text messaging each other under the table cuz no one could get a word in.

I rotated into the kitchen with *C* and she looks at me and goes .."were you and *J* texting each other" I said yes.. you could tell" she goes " yes I was trying to text you but I couldn't get the thing to send look" she has this text that says " hey are you 2 texting shit?" it was the funniest thing .

Anyway we all finally went inside and started to play singstar. (It's like Kareoke only super fun) That was the only way she finally stopped talking.. but she complained about all the songs that she didnt know any. That's the point no one knows all the songs thats the fun part.

Eventuall the night came to an end. I was about to go upstairs to go get the sleeping punkin out of the playpen when Newbie asked if I could drive her home. She apparently walked and didn't plan on staying as late as she did. I said yes.. it was 10:45., what was I gonna do make her walk home alone in the dark.

Now the day before the punkin was running a fever and was being a little crabby but that morning she was fine. I go upstairs to get the punkin, I pick her up and carry her downstairs. At the point she proceeds to PUKE all over me. It was like she knew she was going to have to go in the car with that lady. At that point *J* volunteers to drive the newbie home.

I have friends who are bi-polar and I've worked with people who are bi-polar... and they're all relatively normal. Most are on medication... but none of them have randomly spewed that info to me on the first day I met them.

I feel bad about this whole thing.. but I really have no desire to hang out with her again, even if it's not her fault.

Does that make me a bad person?

Upswing

I know I haven't written in a while.. I haven't really been motivated to write about the Army and Army life. It's been really crappy around here with that so I figured, I'd just not say anything. I'm finally going to explain what's been going on.

The past few months things have been kinda at a standstill with the hub and the Army.

The last time my hubby was in Iraq he broke his leg/ankle.. nothing serious but serious enough for him to have to have surgery and be put on a Med profile. After his surgery he was supposed to have physical therapy.. but out of his 36 appointments... he was only permitted to go to about 8 or so of them. He never heeled properly so was told he can't run anymore.

What's the biggest part the the PT program ..... running.

Partly because of that, partly because of the actual injury and partly because my hubby likes McDonald's a little too much.. he's had a really hard time keeping his weight down.

He's been on profile for a really long time.. and hasn't been promoted since prior to 2003. He'd been given the benefit of the doubt for a long time and now it was time to shit or get off the pot.

This time since he's been in the sandbox, there was almost a complete change of command in his unit and the new command basically thought he was a crappy soldier because of his weight and seemed pretty hellbent to med board his ass right out of the army.

Hence mine and his complete loss of faith and dis-illusionment with the Army.

Apparently some time last month ,after he failed his last tape, his 1SGT realized the hub is not a shitbag. He made the hub his personal pet project to get him off the flag and get him promoted. This was the new goal. PT twice a day, strict diet plan.. the whole nine. He was getting taped today and this was basically it.. pass or civilian life.

So everything was very up in the air..but things finally are looking up..

Today he passed his tape test.. that means he is off his med flag, able to re-enlist and able to get promoted. All total he's lost 44 lbs ( he was heavier than we initally thought). Is it wrong for me to want to kiss the 1SGT for being all HOOAH?lol

This is a big relief for both of us. The not knowing what the future was going to hold for us has been very stressful and nerve-racking... now it seems that everything's gonna work out( knock on wood). I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

I guess I can still write my blog since I'll continue to be an Army wife.

The 9/11 blog

Everyone has there 9/11 story.
This is mine.

I woke up to the phone ringing, it was really early so I didn't think much of it. I had stayed the night before up at my parent's house and they had all left for work. The answering machine had clicked on and whoever it was hung up. I decided I should probably get up. As I got to kitchen the phone rang again. I answered it.. it was the dentist confirming an appointment I think my stepdad had. I hung up.. not more than 3 minutes later the phone rang again. This time I decided not to answer it and let the machine get it... after all it wasn't my house and no one ever called there for me.

Beeeeppppp. It was my stepdad and this was the message.

"Hey are you awake, can you hear me. Turn on the TV someone just said that a plane flew into your mom's building. Call me back"

That was where I was when it happened. I was standing in the living room in disbelief. No way.

At lot of the day is a blur.. it just all kind of blends together, cuz everything seemed to happen so fast.

I turn on the tv.. just as the second plane is going through the second tower. That one was my mom's building. I call my stepdad and tell him what I'm watching.. he tells me he's leaving work and headed home. I try and call my mom and no one answers at her desk. So I call her cel... I hear it ringing.... from my purse. I forgot that I had borrowed it from her and never got to give it back to her before she left for work. There was no way to get in touch with her.

All this was before 9 am.
So we waited.. and waited. Everyone started calling the house... asking if I had heard from her. No. That was so hard.. having to get answer everyone questions when I had no answers. At that point I was all by myself in the house, trying to hold myself together for everyone else's stake, still wondering where my mom was. If she was ok.

My stepdad got home. My husband at the time.. drove up from our house as soon as he saw what happened. I was glued to the TV... looking at people in the street, seeing if I could recognize her.

That's when her building collasped. At that point I started screaming, I don't remember exactly what I was screaming I just remember screaming and falling to ground. My ex came over and had to hold me to keep me as calm as he could.

My stepdad started telling me.. that wasn't her tower. Her tower was still standing. No, I knew that was her building.. but he kept telling me that it wasn't. I guess I wanted to believe that.. and calmed me down a little. I still don't know to this day if he was trying to calm me down or if he really didn't know... I was right that was her building.

So we waited some more. Then the other tower fell. At that point there was nothing I could do. The phone kept ringing and still no mom, and still no answers for everyone who called. About 11/1130am a call came from my stepdad's office. My mom had called his office thinking he was still there, she was calling from a payphone and there was a line but she wanted to let everyone know she was ok and could his secretary call the house. She would try to call again as soon as she could get farther away from what is now known as Ground Zero.

What had happened to my mom?

She was at her desk on the 54th floor when someone on her floor had said that there was some kind of explosion in the other tower. They didn't know it was a plane at that point because of where the plane hit and where they were in the other building.

She was in the building when the bomb went off in '93 so she and her co workers were like.. we're outta here. They decided staying in the building wasn't the best idea.. so they went to the stairwell and started down.

I'm not sure how many floors down they had gotten when they had made an announcement staying that a plane had accidently hit the tower and it was an isolated incident and it was safe to go back to your desks.

Thank god they didn't go back.

They kept going down and at about the 30th floor there was this loud noise and the building started to shake uncontrollably. They held on to the bannister and waited for the shaking to stop. That was when the second plane hit her tower. Eventually it stopped and they made their way down... and out. She said that the firefighters that day were amazing and if it wasn't for them keeping everyone calm a lot of people would've lost it.

She made it out of the building approx 15/20 minutes before it came down. She started walking and eventually found a phone to call us. She had actually called my Uncle first because he was in a building about 15 blocks from where she was and she knew he could see everything from his windows.

He never called any of us. I dont remember what the reason was.

She managed to call my stepdads office.. then after walking a little more she managed to call the house. It was so great just to hear her voice.

They had the city on lockdown and there was no way out. She ended up walking up to my cousins' apartment which was really far from where the towers were. The next day my stepdad managed to get into the city and get her.

Finally she was home.

She was ok.

She lost friends that day. ..

I never take her for granted anymore knowing how close I was to losing her

.. and I never take her cel phone anymore....just in case

The end

Hawaii

I have a love/hate relationship with this place.

There are positives and negatives to living in a place like this.
The weather, the water, the eye-candy... it really can be paradise.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't take for granted that I wear flip-flops and capris 365 days a year. Most days I love living here, then somedays I feel like I don't truly get the chance to experience what Hawaii has to offer.

I basically live life like a single working mom with no time for much of anything else. I might as well still be in Jersey except I've got no family here. I do, luckily, have friends that are the most amazing military wife family a girl could ever ask for.

I live in the most Romantic place on earth and I 've spent more time here alone than anything else. This seems to be the thing with me here.

When I was stationed here with my ex-hub we were here 20 months and I spent 14 of those here by myself while he went to Oki, Australia, San Diego and wherever else the Marine Corps decided to send him.

This time around in the 18 months I've been here so far the hub has been gone 11 of those months between NTC and the sandbox. I know what I signed up for but that doesn't make it any easier.

There are days where I see happy newlywed couples walking through the mall all happy, holding hands and being cutesy. I think how dare they rub their happiness in my face like that, totally not their fault, just the jealousy I feel ..that they have what I want and miss terribly.

We are now on the downside of this deployment and we only have roughly 5 months left which isn't much time. It's hard to believe that a whole year has almost gone by.. it seemed so fast yet so long.

I can't wait for him to come home, so we can once again be one of those cutesy(not so newlywed) couples that I see in the mall.

Reliving my Youth

Today I am 16 again.

90210 (the new class,lol) and the new New Kids on the Block cd both came out today.

I'm like a giddy little school girl. Sitting in Ms. Tamaru's Chemistry class talking about "OMG did you watch that new Beverly Hills show last night, like isn't that Brandon guy soooooo cute."

Hehe, oh the good ole' days.

Otherwise I got nothin.
My life is pretty lame as of lately.

I keep wanting to blog about things but by the time I get around to the computer, everything I want to blog about I either forgot or just seems irrelevent by the time I sit down.

I don't feeling like complaining about the Army and the politics of the Army today.

Today was a good day. =)

Normalcy

I'm not really sure what Normalcy really is anymore... but I think I am as close to it as I can get right now.

The punkin is back with her normal babysitter, Back-to-School is over, life seems to be back on track and there is only 25 more garbage days til the hubby is supposed to come home. I like it if I can break it down into small #s at this point.

Today is my first day off in 6 days.. I don't really like working that many days in a row, before that my BFF was here for 4 days and then before that I had worked like 3 days in a row. I'm finally getting over being sick.

Needless to say I needed the day off.
Today I was a bum.... I like days like that.

Life has been so busy it's been basically uneventuful.

I say basically because the only thing I get to report is that my Hubby had to have 30 stitches to put the skin on his knee back on.

Yup you read that right.... no worries it's not as bad as it sounds but the pics are really gross and I won't post any.

Apparently he said he was walking and tripped and caught his leg on the corner of a tile in the Pod. He took a 2 inch round chunk of skin off his leg. So he's been wrapped and in a leg brace and isn't supposed to move it. He looks like a bad Frankenstein victim with the crazy stitches.

Part of me thinks the story is crazy sketchy and makes me wonder if he acually tripped or there is more to this story and he is just trying to shield me from the truth so I don't worry.

Whatever it is ... I'll stick with the my hubby's a clutz version.

It makes me worry less.

PS-Thanx for all the Bday wishes!!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday!!!
That is my super cool Rubiks cube birthday cake for my 80s party.
(*L* did a kick ass job)

I have the bestest friends ever.

I got roses too... from hubby.

For it being my Happy birthday.
I wish I felt more happy.

Obsession

I've been MIA.
I'm alive but MIA.

A few reasons.

1-I've been busy.
2-I've been tired.
3-The Olympics is on.. like 24/7 and on like 7 channels. I'm addicted.
4- I had the FRG picnic which was a big fat joke. .. I did meet the commander's wife and she is a cool chic.
5-I haven't really had anything good to write about.
6-I think I'm more dis-illusioned than before. I may bitch about that soon. Maybe.

Lastly, I've become obsessed with the whole TWILIGHT book thing. I totally jumped on the bandwagon. The past week and a half I have spent every free waking moment reading these stupid books with the Olymipcs on in the background.

I can multi-task.

I just finished the 3rd out of the 4th book and all I want to do is get started on it and see what happens to dear Bella and her Vampire Edward and Werewolf Jacob. Ridiculous I tell ya.

I think becoming so obsessed in someone else life, be it fiction, makes me feel less lonely.

I'll take what I can get.

My BFF is flying in on Sunday and my Birthday is on Wednesday, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to blog about soon.

Yay for visitors!!!

Dis-illusionment

So apparently this deployment is starting to take its toll on my hubby.
It's not so much the deployment itself, it's the politics of the deployment.
So much so ..he is thinking of not re-enlisting.

Now this coming from the hub is not a good sign. He is one of those people who is very HOOAH Army. As much as he bitches and complains, he loves the Army and is always one of those guys trying to convince other people to stay in. He wanted to be a lifer.

Apparently not anymore.... and that makes me sad.

I want to type more about it but for fear of getting him in trouble I'll give no real details and just bitch from my point of view.

Don't get me wrong.. I love being an Army Wife but I could go either way with it.. but to see my hubby so confused and disillusioned about something that he loves and was going to make a career out of ,make him so miserable makes me sad.

What about me.. am I dis-illusioned.????

Hell yeah I am.

I've been annoyed with this Deployment since before he left.

Let's start with the FRG.
There has been no support here on the homefront for the wives left behind here.Our FRG has basically been non-existant. I do not know a single wife of any of the soldiers my hubby deployed with. Not a single one... all my friends I met because of my daughter. All of their husbands are deployed but all in different units from each other. Their FRGs are also non-existant.

This week I get an email saying we are having a "Half way through Deployment BBQ" then a voicemail about it. Are you kidding me? These are the first things I've got since January.

JANUARY PEOPLE.

Am I wrong to be annoyed by this? What about the emails just emailing to check in. Making sure I'm still alive and didn't fall into a deep depression. Isn't that what the FRG is for? I see them on TV bringing cake and welcoming new people. I got shit. I'm going to this picnic thing. Part of me wants to go to just tell someone off and tell them how half ass I think this whole thing is. The other half actually just wants to see WTF is actually going on here.

Here's my bitching part!

~I'm tired of him constantly getting shit on.
~I'm tired of him constanty getting overlooked for promotion over that past 5 years because of an injury . An injury that happened the LAST time he was in Iraq and once he returned ,was not allowed to go to his physical therapy appointments to heal properly.
~I'm tired of the lack of support the Army gives their soldiers and their families here.
~I'm tired of him not being able to call home in 22 days.
~I'm tired of the bullshit that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
~I'm tired of feeling the ramifications of shit over there when I've done nothing but stay here and be a good wife. How fair is that. I feel like I'm being punished for no reason.
~I'm annoyed that my daughter will not know who her Daddy is when he gets back and only knows him now by a picture on the wall that she blows kisses to every night before bed.

Seriously, I've had it. Had it with Hawaii, this unit, this deployment, this FRG.
I know I signed up for this when I got married but part of this bullshit I definitely didn't expect.

Sorry, for the tyraid.
I'm feeling very Italian mafioso hostile today, and I know whose bed I'd like to put a horse's head in.

Beware of a Jersey girl on a rampage!

Happy Birthday!!

Today the Hubby turned 32!

Last year he left for NTC the week after his birthday so he managed to be home for it.
This year we obviously weren't so lucky...

hopefully next year he'll be home for it.



Happy Birthday Baby!
Wish you were here.

I'm totally gonna blog tomorrow.
Like really blog.. I swear,lol.

Batman, Batman, Batman!

I know it's been a while and I never finished my story , I'll do that soon.

It's been super hectic around here with Back to School coming. Work has been crazy and that has completely absorbed my life right now. I barely even have gotten online and haven't checked any Blogs in a week.

Sorry, but I do plan on catching up and commenting on everyone very soon.

I did however leave early on Saturday to see the new Batman. The perks of the being the boss I guess. It was pretty kick butt and Heath Ledger really was as good as people said he was.

He was a LUNATIC! No one will do him justice in the next movie whoever the cast to replay him.

A few things worth mentioning:
~Hubby finally called after 22 days,after I emailed him and was like "hey you realize it's been 3 weeks since you called here right?" He loses all track of time over there.. He's miserable,cranky and is thinking of re-classing.
~Did I mention I saw Batman
~I got a new phone and it's the coolest thing ever, now if I can only figure out how to make it work.
~My best friend will be here in exactly 3 weeks
~ My birthday is 3 days after that and we're having an 80s party. If anyones in Hawaii that week and wants to come let me know.
~I saw the coolest giant spider made of Legos ever. I have pics and will post them when I upload my camera.

Otherwise, that's really it.

God Bless the Broken Road

JFK jr died 9 years ago today.

I know this cause it was the day I got married.
The first time.

People always ask me if I had to do it all over again, would I do it?
Absolutely. It put me on the path that lead me here.

I met my first husband the summer of '96 about one month after my current hub and I broke up. (It seems like ages ago).

My BFF at the time was harassing me to go down the shore(that's the boardwalk for all you non-Jersey folks). It was a sunday night, raining and basically a lame night to go anywhere... but she just wouldn't stop so I agreed to go. We tried to go to a bar in one town but it was closed... so we decided to go to Seaside Hghts, stroll the boards and find a bar.

There was NO ONE around. When I say no one I mean there were like 10 people in the bar we were at and maybe 5 idiots(like ourselves) walking the boardwalk in the rain. Think a shore town in November.. that was it. Off to the side was this dude in a booth, working one of those put a quarter down(remember when games were a quarter), spin the wheel, win a prize booths. The dude sees us and yells at the top of his lungs.."Hey girls come on over.. I've got BIG BALLS!" The prize at the booth were those stupid giant balls.

My prize was..... a stupid giant husband. Yup I married the "big balls" guy.

My first sign that I knew I was in for a rough ride was that I had on my sorority letters and he told me he was in a sorority in college. When I asked him which one.. he said Alcoholics annonymous. I thought what a loser and actually walked away. Always stick with your first instinct. Later on that night... I was being harrassed by this annoying drunk guy.... and I turn around and there was the big ball dude. He totally saved me from the drunk guy.. after talking for a while he didn't seem half bad.

We started dating. In the process of dating.. I learned.. the boardwalk was his only job, he failed out of college, he didn't have a car , was a hippie pothead that was basically living on the couch of whatever friend would let him stay there and was a little bit of a liar. I had my life together.. this was not my plan to take care of some bum. We dated about 6 months.... but I had had enough. I told him that he had no motivation, wasn't going anywhere and I didn't see a future for us at this point in time. When he got his life together give me a call we'll see what happens.

It was during this break.. that I had bumped back into the hub and we starting talking again. Nothing serious but made that initial .. hey let's keep in touch kinda thing. He had started dating someone else so friends was all it was.

That's when I get the call from the dude. It was a voicemail actually.
It basically went something like this.." Hey it's me... everything you said was true and I decided to pull my life together. I enlisted in the Marine Corps I leave in 3 weeks." He wanted to see me before he left. I totally thought he was lying and it was all an act.

Turns out... he wasn't lying. When I saw him.. he had dropped like 15 pounds had cut his hair and the whole nine. (I turned a hippie pothead into a Marine, go me,lol). I told him I'd write him totally intending on just humoring him but I figured I'd be nice. Needless to say we wrote each other back the whole time and ended up back together. After that he got his orders.

They were to here... Hawaii.

After a year of long distance dating we got engaged. Everyone was surprised ,thought we were a terrible match ,my parents really disliked the dude and his me. That year I spent planning a wedding.A big Italian wedding.... with a lot of people. A wedding that as the year progressed I wasn't even sure I wanted anymore. I used to convince myself it was a phase, that all soon to be brides go through it, that it was just that he was far away. My mom used to tell me that I could stop it at anytime, she would rather me happy, it was only money. As it got closer, it got worse. If I decided to stop my wedding ..it was like standing in front of a steam roller coming at you full speed. I wasn't ready for that. I told myself once we were married and were able to be together.... it would be different.

The day of my wedding. I cried... all morning. In the car on my way to get my hair put in this veil.. and I couldn't stop. I get to the hair place and the girl who does my hair took one look at me and tells me to sit down, brings me coffee and is trying to calm me down. That's when I remember hearing about JFKs plane on the radio. I pulled myself together and got through my hair appointment.. once I was back in the car... the crying started again. I was going through with it.. no matter what. I could always get divorced I told myself.... probably not the best way to think. I get home , the bridesmaids arrive, we do all the pics, get in the limo, go to the church.

The music starts.. Everyone's in ..the bridemaids, the guests our parents... the dude is at the alter. It's time. Just as my entrance music is about to start, it's just me and my dad at the back of the church.

He looks at me, takes a step back to the church door that opens to the street, opens the door and says....

This is your last chance, the limos right there if you want to go.

I was floored. It was like he was trying to save me. The sad part was, I thought about it.. til the music started then down the aisle we went.

That was it.. we were mr and mrs dude marine. Off to Hawaii I went. He had a little less then 2 years left when I got here. Of those 20 months (pre-OIF) I spent 14 of them here by myself. It was a rough time at first. It took a while but I got into the swing of things. I got a job... met some of the most amazing people in my entire life, that I am still friends with and most of them are still here now. I became a strong independent person that learned to deal with things on her own cause there was no one here to help me.... yet things with the hubby didn't get better.

Shortly after I got here, I had found out through the grapevine that the hub had enlisted in the Army, had finished AIT and was headed to Colorado. He was a volunteer EMT back home and wasn't sure what he wanted to do with his life but loved that. He went in to see the Navy recruiter and I can never remember what happened but on his way out the Army recruiter stopped him. The rest is a career.

The dude was getting towards the end of his enlistment and he decided he didn't want to re-enlist. (You can never take the hippie out of the Marine) Our marriage was getting worse, his drinking got worse, I eventually stopped going out with him and his friends. Babysitting a bunch of drunk Marines isn't what I signed up for. I hoped that getting back to NJ would make a difference.

Right as we were leaving here, the hub got new orders to Hawaii. He had heard that I was here had sent me an email asking questions about the island.. yada yada etc. I told him that I was headed back to NJ but if he had any questions before he got there I'd be glad to help him out.

Getting back to NJ didn't help. It made things worse. The hub fell back in with his old group of friends, continued to drink heavily and wouldn't get a job. We were living rent free in my dads summer house and I was working so he figured I could pay all the bills and he could do want he wanted. After 3 months of that, I threatened to leave. ... he got a job that worked on commission. The only problem was he never sold anything. So even though he was working, taking clients out to lunch on my dime.. he wasn't making any money.

Without all the details it was bad. I was in a bad place, I got really depressed and was angry all the time, never went out, my best friends had even started to see a change in my normally happy demeaner. There was a crashed car, 2 maxed out credit cards and then the final straw.

One night we got into a huge fight... he was drunk and all I wanted to do was leave. One thing lead to another and my arm ended up going through the pane in the glass door. He was so drunk that he new he was going to get in trouble he didn't even want to call 911. Needless to say 230am.. the ambulance, the police and a rush to the hospital was my final straw. I was too ashamed to tell anyone so I laid in the emergency room bed all by myself, next to some girl with a police guard cause she had try to OD. Seven stitches and 5 hours later my hub showed up to get me after the police had let him go. We took a cab home.

When people ask me about my scar I tell them I got in a fight with a window and lost.

We had to continue to live together for another 2 month....even after all that I still felt bad cuz he had no place to go. I couldn't leave cuz my transfer hadn't gone through yet.. the commute from my parents house to Atlantic city every day wouldn't have been worth it.We were basically2 individuals living our own lives under one roofs. It was difficult.

During this time the hub and I started emailing more.. I didn't really give him the details at that point ,he just knew my marriage was done. He was in Hawaii and dating someone and I was in NJ with a broken relationship... us as a couple didn't even cross my radar at this point.

Finallly October 2002 I moved out... that was it. It was over.

In our 3 years together as mr dude and wife.... when it was good it was amazing, but when it was bad it was terrible. I'm not saying he was completely to blame in our problems.I definitely had my issues and flaws.. I could give as good as I got.. but someone can only give/take so much.

Sorry didn't mean for this to be so long but I started writing and just couldn't stop. I guess tomorrow I'll do the happy part.

"God Bless the broken road.. that led me straight to you"~ Rascall Flatts.

Generation Kill part 1

The first part of Generation Kill just finished on HBO.

Ooh Rah!

I'm a sucker for a good miniseries.

I read Generation Kill about 3 years ago... shortly after the hubby got back from Iraq the first time. I loved that book so much I even blogged about it way back in my Myspace blogging days. (That's how I figured out EXACTLY when I read it,lol.)

Now I am totally hooked on the mini-series and it's only been an hour.
I can't wait til next week!

I totally want to go back and re-read the book.....only hubby took it to Iraq with him.

That book is gonna be so sandstormed, I'll never get it back.

Now I'm thinking of getting back in to the whole military iraq war reading list again.
I've already read " The Gift of Valor" and "One Bullet Away"

Anyone have any suggestions....?????

Untitled

I can write this now because the info was finally posted on the news.

So I had my first official "OMG you could really die over there" freak out yesterday. We're at the half way point and I'm really surprised I haven't done that sooner.

The hub emailed me the other night to tell me one of his friends was killed. The guy was out the wire and the vechicle hit a IED. He was a fellow medic and had actually helped the Hub move into our housing from the barracks before I got here.

I had never met him.. but medics are a crazy close nit bunch that see the worst and deal with the worst of the worst. They are all still in kind of shock and disbelief.

The first deployment.. hubby and I weren't officially a couple again yet but it was because he was over there that we basically really reconnected and got back together. He had a semi close call and was skimmed with some schrapnel right below his eye and has a small scar.. nothing serious but close enough.

So far this deployment.. we've been really lucky(knock on wood) where what he is doing he doesn't really go out the wire much. He went once because they were short a medic and they needed someone who knew what they were doing and knew would have their back. They asked my hubby. Of course he went.. but didn't tell me til after he got back(good idea).

When I first read the email it was like 3am.. I had waken up for some reason and when I wake up in the middle of the night I also check my email to see if he wrote. I guess at 3am it didn't really sink in.

It wasn't til I was awake and driving in the car on my way to work that it really hit me

Now I know it's bad to think the negative and think "what if" but I couldn't stop myself.. I totally opened the floodgate. When ASM2's boyfriend was killed it didn't effect me like this. I guess cause he was in a different unit and it somehow seemed not so close to home. I felt bad and felt extremely sad for her.

However, this was his unit. This was his friend. He could've been in that Stryker. That could've been him. It really is that random with just the luck of the draw. I started crying in the car, thinking all these terrible things about what my life would be like if he was gone from it. I almost had to pull over. I know it's taboo and I try not to think about it but I just couldn't help myself. All day I was a mess.

I got home and emailed the hub . I told him everything above , how I freaked out in the car, how much i loved him and the whole nine. I'm sure that was an email he needed right at that moment.

Not more than 10 minutes later I get a text message to my phone with one of those little urgent flags that said..

"I love you too, don't worry"

My hubby.. man of many words.
Hopefully he'll call soon.


RIP~Spec. William McMillan III
You will be missed- gone but never forgotten.

3 Doors Down!

My life has been really uneventful this past week.
It's been all work and no play makes me a lame chic.LOL

Last night that changed.

Every July the Marine Corps base throws this huge event called Bayfest. It's basically a 3 day long carnival. Rides, food, etc.... but the BIG draw is always the concerts. Each night is a different show. 3 nights- 2 rock 1 country or vice versa.

This year it was- Rodney Atkins/Little Big Town; 3 Doors Down; Everclear/Live.

I found out 3 Doors Down was coming in March and have been stoked ever since. I love them and every time they've come to Jersey I've been there. Due to my schedule I could only go one day.. so I bet you can guess which day that was.

So 2 of my friends and I headed out to the base for a little kid free night out.

Once you get on a Marine base... there's one thing that you always notice.

MARINES ARE HOT!!!!!
(Yes I say that knowing my hubby will read this)

They always look so nice and squared away in their uniforms.
They make the best eye candy ever.
(Next to you honey.......Love you)
So anyways.LOL

We had a blast... we walked around.
I had a deep friend twinkie, forced my friends to try it,lol.
It was dam good.( When I saw the sign all I could think about was Trying's post about the twinkie and had to get one,lol.)
I ate so much junk.. it was like I was on the Jersey boardwalk.

We ended up about 25/50 feet from the stage. They rocked. It was packed.
Thank goodness it was outside otherwise forget it.
I screamed my head off and left there with no voice.
They played all the staples, I bought a tee shirt and I wish they would've played longer.

.... but here's the thing about 3DD.

They are truly a military supporting band. I can't tell you how many times Brett came to the end of the stage and thanked everyone for their service. Thanked the spouses. Dedicated songs out to the crowd and what not.

They really are not just a great band... but a great bunch of guys.

I am a fan for life.

Oh and one more thing....

Bye Bye Neighbors

Another set gone.. I think?

My next door neighbors,the young couple that just moved in in Decemeber, apparently split up and the wife took their baby and went back home.

I work too much I didn't even realize.

She's 22, he's 21, their daughter is 9 months old, they've been married a little over a year, he basically just got out of AIT, this is their first duty station .. and he'll be deploying to Iraq for the first time in the fall.

*C* went back home right around the time hubby left to go back from R&R. She was gone for about 3 weeks and came back the end of May. I hadn't really seen her much. Today I saw she was online on her Myspace. I sent her a message saying I hadn't seen her in a while, I was going to pricebusters and if she wanted to come.

She messaged me back.. in a nutshell... *J* freaked out and said that he was getting annoyed with her, he hated her and didn't want to be with her anymore. So friday she packed up their 9 month old daughter and left. Hence why I hadn't seen her.

Apparently, she thinks that the fact he's deploying to Iraq in a few months freaked him out and this is how he handled it. She said this isn't the first time he's did this and didn't seem too phased by this.

Trust me, I'm the last person to judge anyones marriage, but I'm kinda on the fence about this. Part of me thinks that if this is something he does all the time and it's a phase, now that they have a kid, wouldn't she stick it out, opposed to just bailing? Then part of me thinks...why'd she put up with his shit for so long? Am I wrong for thinking this way?

Either way,I feel bad and it sucks....

I dread getting new neighbors. Sigh.

PS~ Lars and the Real Girl. Worth the watch...Very different. I cried at the end and couldn't believe why I was actually crying.

Dog the Bounty Hunter

Dog was in the mall yesterday.

We were working and my sales associate goes "hey it's dog". I'm like ..cool.
He goes... no not A dog.. THE Dog.lol

Sure enough there he was.. long hair and all. He looks just like he did on TV only not chasing a criminal. Then this couple with a baby stopped him. He shook the guys hand and took a picture with them.

I thought that was a really cool gesture.

Otherwise this week has been boring. Hectic with work training the new girl.. but otherwise that's it.

Right now I'm watching "Lars and the Real Girl"... kinda weird kinda good. I'll have to get back to you when it's over.

Lastly, my friends and I are throwing a "Passion Party" this weekend... I'm sure I'll definitely have something to blog about with that,LOL.

A Blogger Meeting.

I had my first blogger meet today!

I guess I'm not as anonomous as I was... but I'm ok with that.

After much time playing meeting tag.. I officially met Wendy from Wendy's Tiki Hut today. She lives super close to me and it took months for our schedules to coordinate.

We met over at Burger King.. I recognized her immediately when she walked in. It was strange, I felt like I had known her for a long time even though that was the first time we were meeting. She brought me a little dashboard hula girl and made me a Hawaiian music cd which I thought was super sweet of her.

We chatted, then the kids all played on the giant jungle gym at BK. Punkin climbed up into the thing and I went up after her. I never felt so big in my life( I hit my head twice) and I was surprised no one came in at yelled at me to get out of the jungle gym.

Then we walked over to the Firestone which is across the street from the BK. They have the official Firestone/Budweiser Indy Race car there in the lot. You were able to get in and have your picture taken in the car FOR FREE (so rare these days). We all did that.. it was super fun. I totally though the MPs were going to realize I was sitting in a race car and give me a ticket because I LOOKED like I was going to fast,LOL. Maybe Wendy will post her pics.

We had a good time, Wendy is awesome and her kids are great. Sydney took great care wheeling the punkin around in her stroller. Hopefully we'll be able to meet up again soon.

It's good to have a cool new friend.

My Day With the TV

I sat down to write this blog and walked away from the computer to watch the original cast of RENT sing "Seasons of Love" on TV.. but I'll get back to that.

Do you ever flip channels and come across one of those movies that no matter what... you have to stop???? You see it's on and immediately get a smile on your face and brings you back to a great time in your life.


This morning Reality Bites was on. It came out in 1994

~right in the middle of my Seattle "grunge" phase,where I wore nothing but flannels for like a whole year and listen to Pearl Jam "Ten" til the cd warped
~my music taste was starting to really rock and was a DJ at the college radio station.
~I had just pledged my Sorority in college
~that was the summer I met my best friend
~I had just turned 20
~where I was finally coming into my own and being ok with who I was.
It was one of the best times of my life. It seemed like forever ago but seems like just yesterday. I will forever have a place in my heart for that movie and for "Singles".. and will always smile (Sidenote:the soundtracks are just as good as the movies, I own both of each)

Am I the only one that has a movie like that?

Then "Charlotte's Web" was on. The life action remake. I wanted the punkin to be as excited about it as I was... but she wasn't. I cried like the big sap I am, but I cry EVERYTIME I watch that movie... since I was 7. I actually own the cartoon version. I don't remember crying when I read the book but I guess I was too little.

Then we took a break to get out of the house. We went to the PX where I spent no money but just wanted to get out of the house cuz the day was so nice. Since punkin can't go in the sun.. it was the only place I could think of (other than the mall) to go. After that we went to the commissary where I got a basket and should've gotten a cart cuz it's hard to carry a heavy basket and push a stroller.LOL.

Then Army Wives. I am addicted to this show... yet somethings are SOOOO far fetched I get super disgusted. Then the stuff that it so true comes on that it pulls at your heart strings. First off Roxy gets on my nerves.. being new to the Army wife life doesn't make it acceptable to do the stupid shit that she does. She gets away with things that in real life.. you could NEVER get away with. As one of my friends once said" I hate the way they dumb her down". You wanna see true life... let us bloggers write an episode. My other complaint is ... When does the General and the Generals' wife ever become friends with enlited like they all are.... much less gather around for Sunday dinner. I wouldn't know the General's wife if she bite me in the PX. Are you kidding me?

Lastly the Tony Awards was on. I grew up in NY.. and moved to Jersey when I was 12. My mom worked in the city her whole life until shortly after 9/11. It was a ferry ride across the river into NYC where the whole world seemed so big to me. I grew up going to Broadway shows and became one of those theatre freaks in high school. That's one of the things about living here I miss, being able to go to the city and see a play whenever I wanted. I watch the Tony's as my little piece of culture from home. RENT is one of my fave shows. I've seen it like 4 times... once with the complete Original cast... even the Movie didn't have the COMPLETE original cast. To see them all on tv made me happy, and made me wish I was home. My mom takes all my discount ticket offers I get sent to my old house and goes to see the shows using my discount. I'm so jealous of her.

I spent too much time in front of the tv today.

Don't hate me cause I cut you in line.

Ok so today i did almost nothing.

Friday I had to take the punkin to doctor. She had another skin infection. I thought about taking a picture and posting it but it was just too gross.

I call central appts at 0630. I get an appt at 0940.

I get to the Peds clinic..the waiting room is full. There's someone at the counter checking in with the receptionist. The nurse that is always there see's me standing there and goes hey everything ok. She looks over the counter to say hi to the punkin.

I explain she has a skin infection on her belly and then the PA comes out and goes "Hey (my daughters name) " Then goes.. you know what don't worry about waiting just come on back.

Oh the looks I got.

I don't know if it is a good thing or bad thing that the people at the peds clinic know you by name or not. I guess kinda both.

Needless to say... they put her on antibiotic. Her skin is 100% better now.. but the anitbiotic she is taking she's supposed to stay out of the sun. Which really stunk.. cuz I was invited to go hang out with some friends at the beach cabin they rented for the weekend. No use in going if the punkin can't go in the sun.

Saturday we just stayed in the house and went for a walk once the sun went down.

It was a nice relaxing day

R.I.P Tim Russert

As a avid watcher of Meet the Press.
I am so sad that Tim Russert has died.
He was one of the only News men that I thought wasn't totally full of crap.


RIP Tim..... the News World will not be the same without you.

Some notice would've been nice.

This morning I got up at 5:50, went to the bathroom, turned on the water in the shower.....

THERE WAS NO WATER.

SIGH.

I've never lived it a place where the Army so randomly decides to SHUT OFF YOUR WATER for shits and giggles with no notice and at the most inconvenient times.

This happens all the time here...it never happened on the Marine base.... and it would NEVER happen in my hometown. All the rich people would call the mayor and complain.

I usually shower the night before when I have to open.. it saves me time in the morning and I get to sleep. Last night I was super tired so I said forget it.. I'll just shower in the morning. Hindsight is 20/20

This is my problem with this... GIVE ME SOME NOTICE. Everytime other streets lose water .. they get nice little signs saying " Water shut off:date: 8a-2p"

My street...NOOOOOOOO of course not. no sign and they have to do it at the crack of dawn in the morning.

I'd rather have no power than no water.

Thank goodness I always keep bottled water around for this occassion. I got done what I needed to, packed up the baby and headed off to work.

After a long day of work, I picked up the kid and headed home. I open the front door and hear this whooooshing sound.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME?

I head toward the bathroom and its getting louder. I step into the batroom expecting to be ankle deep in water because my dumbass LEFT THE FAUCET ON.

I don't know exactly what time the water came back on but the water had been running in my tub since it did.

Thank goodness the drain wasn't clogged is all I have to say.

Layout.. whadup!!!

I'm honor of the 4th o July new layout.
Whatcha think.

courtesy of:

What to do with myself?

I know it's only tuesday but this weekend.

I HAVE THE WHOLE WEEKEND OFF!

This never happens. I kinda don't even know what to do with myself. I actually like working weekends and having my weekdays off.

Strange I know, but having my weekdays off... the world is a less crowded place. Everyone has to work so most places are empty. It's usually only Moms and strollers. I fall into that catagory so I'm ok with that. Weekends everythings crowded, I hate crowded.

A couple of my friends rented a cabin at the beach for the weekend ( I know that sounds strange because I live in Hawaii) and invited me to go.. so I might take them up on that offer.

Things have been really boring lately. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

I had inventory Sunday night... we got out at 4am. They trapped us in the mall parking lot. Eventually I found a way out and made a wrong turn and ended up in Waikiki at 430am. I was so annoyed with myself I usually have a good sense of direction. I'm chalking it up to tiredness and lots of brain activity. I got home at 5:02 am.

We hired me an ASM today.. she starts next week. YAY!

I am totally looking forward to seeing 3 Doors Down July 5 at Bayfest.

I am super duper uber-excited about that.

I bought new Converse sneakers today. My old pair were so beat up they looked like they shouldve been owned by an 8th grade boy. I got some funky shoelaces to go with them. I'm a youngin at heart.

I've been a little homesick this week but otherwise that's been really it.

Sex and the City

Go.. Run to your theater and watch it.

Saturday night was Parents Nights Out..so we were kid free.
The girls and I went out to see the Sex and the City movie.

It was awesome. There was only 2 of us that actually had watched the series but everyone enjoyed it. It was nice to go to a movie.

The last time I went to a movie Hubby was home on R&R.

Otherwise this week has been pretty uneventful.

I started to interview new ASMs to replace ASM2.
She finally moved back to Oregon.... I'm going to miss her.
So if anyone wants a job.... let me know.. I'm a cool boss.. I swear,lol.

Lastly... today we hit the 6 month mark.

I so wish that was the half way point.... this sucks.

I can't believe he has been gone that long.

I guess it was because he was just here.

Ok.. enough is enough already.

I got pulled over last night.... Again...by the MPS... Again.

I get up(on an average day) between anywhere where from 5:45-8am. If I open I 'm out of the house by 7 and don't get home til around 7pm. If I close...I'm still up super early.. I leave my house by 12:15 the latest and usually don't get home til about 11:30pm/midnight.

My days are long.

Yesterday I closed... suprisingly the store wasn't trashed so we got out decently early. Now it takes me about a 1/2 hour to get up this end... then I have to go on base.. pick up my kid from the sitter then get back off base and drive out to my housing. I go through the gate usually between 1030-midnight every night. This is the shift they give all the boot Mps. Everytime I've been pulled over it has been some yut yut private who needs to me to be his guinea pig on how to give a warning, right a ticket etc. Yesterday was no different.

I'm so tired of these boot Mps harassing me because they get a shitty shift.... and I'm one of the few cars that come through the gate that they can bother.

Last night I'm on the road into housing. I don't speed on this road.. the Mps are always there so I know better. I see this car coming at me ,as it passes me, I see it's an MP...it decides to turn around.

Ok weird.... then his lights go on. Then a second MP.
Then the punkin wakes up.

I was not speeding.. I'll be the first to admit it if I was but I wasn't.. not last night.

SO i pull over and get all my info stuff and am half way out the window waiting for the cop.
This is 11:09

AS he gets to the window.. I'm like.. I don't understand I wasn't speeding.
~I clocked you doing 44.
NO way... I never speed up this road.. I know you guys always sit here so there was no way I was speeding.
~You were.. I have you locked in at 44. (he was so like neener neener neener I got you)
I go~ Whatever. do what you have to do.

I'm like super pisst, first off there is no way I was speeding and secondly..how could he clock me going 44 when he was driving at me in the other direction. .. but whatever.

He starts walking back to his car and towards the other MP when I stick my head out the window

" Hey could you at least turn your spotlights off, I have a 19 month old in the back seat who WAS asleep when you pulled me over. So could you be alittle considerate for her sake." I'm so tired of them all thinking their shit doesn't stink.

They look at each other and when they get in the car they turn the spotlights and flashing lights off. Score for me.

So I wait for them to come back and issue my ticket. ... and wait and wait and wait. I waited so long.. first I shut my lights off.. then I shut my car off.

At 11:41 They finally come back to the car. I sat there on the side of the road with the baby in the back.. awake... for over a half hour. What? Did they make the paper to write the ticket on.

So he gets to the car and tells me he is issuing me a ticket.
I go Whatever.. it doesn't matter.
He then continues -you're getting a ticket for your registration being expired.

HOLD ON! My registration is not expired.
~ Yes ma'am it is.. it says here 2008.
At this point I'm like.. It's not . I have the right one in here somewhere. I turn the lights on open the glove compartment and proceed to go through everything in my glove box. once, twice.. 3 times.
I say to the MP... I know it's here I just paid $157 to get this stupid car registered.
He goes yes ma'am that's this one you gave me but it's 2008.

I take the registration back from him and look at it.. Then i look up at him and read him the little paragraph above where it says 2008.

"This registration is valid until the last day of February 2009." (yup folks 2009)
I show him the little 2009 # and look at the other MP . The other MP has that oh shit look.
The boot takes the thing from me.

As he looks at it, everything that has just transpired gets to me, it's been a super long day and I'm so tired..........I completely break down in tears.

Like beyond break down, to the point where I am almost hyper-ventilating in the front seat.
At this point the MPs don't know what to do.. they look at each other, walk to the back of the car and start talking on their little walkie things. I hear them reading my license plate # into the walkie .. but I'm still crying and don't really care.

Finally they come back over... and the boot is like~ are you ok ma'am.
I'm still crying- Yea, I'm fine.

We'll ok.. here's your info back. We're just going to let you go, just slow down next time.
OK- I put everything on my carseat and continue to cry. He goes back to his car

The punkin must've thought I was crazy.

I finally compose myself enough to put my stuff away and I apparently in my watersoaked eyes I misplace my insurance card. SO now once again I am going through everything to find the stupid insurance card. I'm about to give up and go home.. the Boot is at my window again.

You ok ma'am.
Yea, I just can't find my insurance card.
He hands it to me through the window.
He had it the whole time~Thanx.
~I'm sorry about the confusion with your Registration ma'am.
It's fine.
~We're gonna block traffic so you can get on the road.. whenever you're ready.
(It's midnight... block what traffic)
Thanx.

I get myself together and start to drive home. The one follows me all the way through the gate and almost to my house. I guess he wanted to make sure I didn't crash the car with the baby in it since I was so upset.

I finally pull into the driveway .. It's midnight.
I just sit in the car and cry.
My kid must've totally thought I was insane.

After I stopped crying....
All I could think was.. thank goodness I didn't get a ticket on base.
Hubby would've killed me.

Celebrating life.

Today is the one day that we are supposed to remember the dead that fought for our country. Personally they should get more than one day... but every day is a Memorial to those who get left behind.

I know there are tens of thousands of servicemen and women that were killed.. but there are 2 specifically that I want to mention in this blog.

The first is Army Sgt. Trevor A. Blumberg
I didn't know this man... no one I know knew this man but here is the story of why I mention him.

When the war first started my mom became obsessed with the Casualties page at CNN.com. She's always read the obituary page in the newspaper, so the fact that she did this never shocked me. She would look at all the pictures and google their names, read all about them in their home town paper.

That day in Sept 2003, she stumbled across Trevor's picture. She started to google. There was something about this young soldier's death that pulled at her heartstrings. She said part of it was that he was so young . The other was she couldn't believe that he had been in Iraq only 3 days before he was killed. 3 days... that's it.

She had a bracelet made for Trevor.. she never wore it and it sat on the dresser for a while before I said.."Aren't you ever gonna wear it?" She said no she just wanted to honor his death. That day I put it on and wore it for a long time, honoring some young soldier that I had never met.

The second is Army Sgt. Gary D. Willett aka Calvin
This was ASM2 boyfriend.

Calvin was a kick ass dude... I had met him on only a few occasions but he was always entertaining and funny. Him and ASM were an eclectic couple... and loved each other so much. She was crushed by his death yet still kept up a good attitude and spoke of him still everyday. I am so sorry for her loss.

I truly wish I would've gotten to know him better and wish even more that he hadn't of died.

Trevor and Calvin...you will forever be in our hearts.
You may be gone but you will never been forgotten.

Jack in the box... so good so bad.

So i ate one of those Jack in the box Bacon BBq sirlion burgers today. As soon as I was done I totally thought I was going to puck.. and I had completely clogged an artery.

I had to toss my fries... I was bummed. I love Jack in the Crack fries.
(I did put my shake in the freezer for later though).

I've decided not to really play complete catch up with my life at this point.. I'm just gonna take it from here.

I do wanna show 2 pics.
One is my attempt at making a baseball cake for Sports themed Parents night out. It's a devil's food ice cream cake that I layered myself. I'm getting good at this baking thing.


The other is the pic of my mother's day flowers that arrived without incident. I think they are scared of me now. I'd be scared of me if I was them. LOL




I've been in a really bad funk the past few weeks... I hadn't really wanted to write. I really haven't had anything positive to say. Lonliness totally set in after the hubby left and we've spoken like 3 times. All his emails were basically him asking for things. I seriously considered packing up the punkin and I, quiting my job and heading back to Jersey.

Then I thought I was pregnant which made me really depressed. It's not that I don't want to have a baby, but the thought of being here alone, pregnant, with the punkin ,working and then actually having the baby here alone since he wouldn't be back in time. I was a complete mess. Thankfully, for now, we are back on the ORIGINAL schedule for baby #2.

Needless to say...I'm not a quitter and I'm feeling better. No drugs needed,lol.

I pitched a fit and am getting better emails. Then the other day season 1 and 2 of Friday Night Lights showed up via Amazon.com.

My best friend and my parents have booked their trips to come visit. *D* in August for my birthday (the big 34) and the folks in September. That will totally break up the upcoming months til the hub gets home.

Then yesterday was the best kicker ever. The president of our company came yesterday to visit. I'd never met her before and she is one KICK ASS chic. She stayed for like an hour.. we did the chit chat thing and talked about business.. then she left. About an hour later my boss calls and tells me Pres was super impressed with me, my team, the store .. the whole kit and caboodle.

VALIDATION! All my hard work isn't in vain.

Last night I rented "P.S. I Love you" on PPV. OMG I cried like a little girl through the whole movie. It was so good. I recommend for everyone who hasn't seen it.

Finally I feel like things are falling back into place.
(I should be back consistently on the blog radar again...hopefully)

Let's play catch up... part 1

So things have been all sorts of crazy around here since the hubby left.
This is a long one.. so grab a cuppa coffee, some cake and pull up a chair.
Don't worry I'll break it up in parts if you wanna take a break,LOL.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are past the 5 months down mark and under the 300 days left mark.
I guess that's good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last Saturday the Food Network was having a Wedding cake food challenge marathon. I decided I can do that and I want to start a career making wedding cakes.

Now if I could only figure out how to make that fondent stuff... I'm good.
(I'm sure this is just a phase)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once again had issues with 1800-flowers.

Hub sent me flowers again. The girl walks up the walkway with the arrangement thats not mine. Before she can even get to the door I'm like "Those aren't my flowers, I'm supposed to get 2 dozen roses." She goes back to the car and gets the right flowers but there are no balloons. She says she'll check on it when she gets back to base. I get inside and open the card and it was some dude name Rick. My husband is not named Rick. I go outside and catch her before she gets in the car, she takes the card and goes "Is your husband's name Drew?"

Oy vey.

Needless to say, I never got the right card and called 1800-flowers. They credited the balloons.
This was my..."sorry I had to go back to Iraq bouquet".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then I found out the President of the company is coming to my store, so that's just a wee bit stressful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(This is the LONG part)

Last Tuesday when I picked up the punkin from the sitters house, she felt really hot. Not super hot to worry about but a little on the warm side. I get home give her some children's tylenol and put her to sleep.

At about 130am she wakes up crying. I pick her up and she's burning hot, I get the ear thermometer and stick it in her ear. For some reason it's on celcius, I don't know how to read that and can't figure out how to change it back ... but the thing has one of those sad faces... so I know that's not good. I go online and try to find a conversion table but everything I find is in French so that doesn't help me. I call my house in Jersey. It's 630 am I know everyones awake.

My stepdad answers the phone.." You're up early?" I tell him the situation, he goes online and pulls up a chart. Turns out she's running a 103 degree fever. At this point I start freaking out, am getting dressed and debating whether or not to take her to the hospital. My mom gets on the phone and talks me down from the ledge. I give punkin more tylenol and try keep her cool. Mom says wait a little while see if the tylenol helps.

It does, her temp drops a little and she falls back to sleep. Needless to say I barely sleep, keep checking her and basically am waiting til 630 when central appts open so I can take her to the doctor. I call get an appt and we are off to the Docs for 9am.

Everyone in there knows her because of when she had her leg cut open and they call her "the warrior". It's very entertaining. The doc guy comes out and calls her name, realizes its her and goes "It's my little warrior". I love the peds clinic here.

He takes her temp. 102.7. Does the rest of the basics and puts us in a room. The doc comes in and gives her an exam, punkin's being her normal happy self like she's not even sick. Doc can't find anything wrong with her except the fever. She says... there's definitely something manifesting, it looks like she's got Roseola.

(Rosie-what?)

Apparently it's a childhood virus that is a few days of a very high fever that abrutly stops and then your kid will break out in a red non-itchy rash from head to toe. She said it's common so not to worry, make sure she drinking and stays hydrated. That day she was fine... she slept alot but all in all was ok.

The next day still the high fever and I couldn't get her to eat or drink anything. (I partially think she was doing it for spite cuz she knew it was freaking me out) I tried everything, different juices, water, different sippy cups, bottles. She's not peeing and hasn't pooped in days, mostly just wants to sleep. Finally by about 4pm, I start crying convinced she's going to dehydrate. I call my mom...... again.

She says don't panic. Take her for a walk in the stroller with some juice, maybe she'll drink while she's out for the walk.... no dice.

I call her again. She tells me go to the store and buy ice pops. The coolness will be good and since they are basically frozen juice, that'll help too. I do. She eats one ice pop. I felt a little better. Mom calls me back and asked if it worked. I said yes... but I'm still freaked out.

Hubby calls... I had emailed him after the first doc appt so he wanted to see how she was doing. I tell him everything and she's not drinking. So at this point he plays backseat Medic.. telling me to try this and that. I completely lose it.

"Yes, I tried that and that and that. I even tried smashing up ice cubes and giving her ice chips. I've tried everything.. trust me. So don't tell me what to do.. it's not like your here to help me or anything"

OOps.. Probably not the best thing to say to someone in Iraq. I could tell right after I said it, he was none to pleased.

"Ya know hone, it's not like I choose to be here"
Needless to say I felt terribly. I apologized and he knew I was stressed. He told me to keep him posted.

Thursday morning I call out of work and I go back to the docs. She has a low grade fever, but still not eating, drinking, etc. Punkin doesn't do much, just lay on my shoulder this trip. The doc looks in her mouth apparently she has a virus that has caused swollen gums. It's the 3rd case this week the doc had seen. Which is prolly the reason why she hadn't been eating or drinking, cuz it just hurts too much... she said.

I had never heard of that, neither had my mom or my mom in law.

The doc says she's not dehydrated and it's normal to be sleepy when your sick... keep trying to give her drinks, the ice pops especially cause her mouth.. if the fever doesn't break or she continues to not drink by saturday bring her in to the ACC. As long as she's still having wet diapers.. that's a good sign.

We go home, she lays down and takes a long nap. She wakes up about 3 hours later... no fever.. and drinks a whole sippy of juice. Just like that.... it's over. She still won't eat but we are back to the drinking!

Friday she starts eating again.

Saturday morning.. she breaks out in the rash.....by Sunday night the rash is gone and the whole thing is over. She's perfectly fine.

Happy Mother's Day to me!

(Part 2 tomorrow.)

Yay for us!

It's about time we get some appreciation!
There's been a lot going on this week so I'll blog more later.

Life is a Highway.....

and mine cost me 147 bux.

That's how much my speeding ticket cost me.

Now I'm from Jersey... so I like to drive fast. I have driving in my blood.. my grandpa was a NYC cab driver when he was younger and my Dad used to race cars... so let's just say I'm a bit of a speed demon.

The speed limit is ridiculously low here (55, I didn't know people were still allowed to drive 55 anymore) and they have minimum/maximum speeds. There is definitely something wrong with a place where they have minimum speeds.. but I digress.

I was cruising in my car on my way to work... like I mentioned before I drive fast.

sidenote* I never drive in the left lane. It's a little speed racer trick my Dad taught me when I was learning to drive. Always drive in the middle or right lane, it makes you look like you are going slower than you really are. Also, I don't speed with the baby in the car.*

I've been a little distracted since the hubby left. .. I didn't realize that I was still in the left lane when all of a sudden there was the little motorcycle cop with the radar right on me.

He knew I was busted ........I knew I was busted.

I pulled over infront of him.... he got on his motorcycle and drove all 50 feet to my car, and walked over to the window with the Radar gun in hand. It said 73.. but I knew that already cause I looked at my BIG BRIGHT DIGITAL numbers on my dash as soon as I saw him.

"Do you know how fast you were going?"

" I didn't even realize I was going that fast, totally my fault"

I had nothing, I couldn't think of anything whitty to say, I just shrugged.
In hindsight maybe I could've offered him a donut or something.

He was a nice though, he looked surprised that I wasn't gonna pitch a fit.
So there's $147 down the drain.

That is the first speeding ticket that I wasn't able to get out of in all my years of driving.

Note to self: remember no driving in left lane

R&R.. is almost over.

So it's been a while. How ya'll doin?
Don't worry next week I'll be back in full force.

Hubby's R&R is winding down. It's been a great mini vacation.

We got a lot of things accomplished that I definitely couldn't have done on my own.

It's going to be very weird getting re-adjusted to non- hubby life for the next year. It was so nice having him around.. and I'm going to miss him so badly. He put one of those little countdown things on the computer with the days left.

300 plus days suck.

Punkin also got really accustomed to him being around. I know the first few days she is going to be super confused and wander around the house looking for him. It's going to be so sad.

Last night, our babysitter kept the Punkin overnight and hubby and I got one night alone down in Waikiki. We splurged and stayed at the Moana Surfrider, it's one of the oldest Hotels in town and completely remodeled.

In my years of life I've learned to work the system. I called the reservation # at beginning of the week to make the reservation, I booked the cheapest deal I could find. Even the cheap rooms at this hotel are super nice.

Tuesday night at about 10pm I called the hotel directly (it's always best to call late when it's not busy at the front desk). I got some very nice lady on the phone and explained that my hubby was home for R&R from Iraq and he was leaving to go back shortly. I asked if the hotel wasn't at full capacity was there any way they would be able to upgrade me to a better room. She said that she would do what she could, the hotel was pretty full but she'd put in the request.

Yesterday when we checked in... when the guy was finished and giving us the info .. he told us we'd been upgraded to.......

AN OCEANFRONT ROOM!

(I've tried this numerous times before and 9 times outta 10... it works. If you ever want a great room at a cheap price.. try it. )

The room was amazing, the view was fantastic and we just had a great time. It was nice to have some quality alone time.

Now I just wait for the inevitable.

PS~ I got the support ribbon cake pan. They had it at the PX for only 9 bux.
I so can't wait to make a cake.

Hope it will make me feel less sad.

Just like it always is.

It's been a week since Hubby got home and it's kinda like he never left... which is a good thing.

He's watching T.O.P. Army fighter on the couch.. I gave it a shot.. it's kinda lame so I figured I'd catch everyone up.

~Monday~
~Monday night I headed over to the Airport to pick him up and his flight was delayed by a half hour. What am I going to do with a little kid in an empty airport for a half hour?

We went to the USO.

I never had been there but I knew where it was, so me and the punkin strolled over. I went in there it was almost like a movie theater. A giant screen tv with like 7 big cushy chairs in front... it was super quiet with the lights out and everyone watching Family guy. Luckily they had a kids room, so I took the punkin and played in there for a little bit to kill time. After about 20 minutes I decided to head over to the baggage claim.

As we strolled over the plane had just landed and people were coming off the plane. I didn't have to wait long.... I was so excited to see him. I felt like a total scene in a movie.. GI (in uniform) comes off plane, big hug and kiss ensue, people stare.
He was like "Don't cry",lol. I didn't I was good.

Punkin was iffy with Daddy.. she was very shy and wouldn't go to him AT ALL.
We got home about 10:30ish.

~Tuesday~
She still wasn't completely comfortable with Daddy yet .. I left her on the bed with him that morning and left the room for like 5 seconds and she completely freaked out. I went to work and dropped the kid off at the babysitters... I figured Hubby would like the sleep.

I was so not in the work frame of mind but I had a HQ visit on thursday so I needed to focus but it was super hard considering work was the last place I wanted to be.

I left early, hubby and I went to commissary and did some grocery shopping. Punkin totally came around that night with Daddy which I was grateful for since she was going to have to stay with him all day Wednesday. Thursday we decided we would have date night.

MPs came about crackhead upstairs again.. her hubby was here and his Chain of Command. I've learned to just keep my windows closed and mind my own business after the last time the MPs were called.

~Wednesday~
I had to work so Hubby had punkin all day. He had some errands to run like get his WAAAYYYY expired jeep registered and inspected. I had to give him a very detailed "baby schedule" list.. he only called a few times that day and was right back in the swing of things. That night he started to get sick.

MPs again today.

~Thursday~
Day of visit. Head honcho from HQ came and visit went super duper well. Loved everything.. I was stoked! I was so excited about date night. I got home and Hubby was like sick and dying on couch. Apparently he had a 24 hour bug lots of puking ensued... I felt so terrible he was so sick. I totally thought he was going to dehydrate and off to Tripler we'd be going.

So no date night.

MPs again today and furniture being moved......hmmmmm?

~Friday~
Last day before vacation. Hubby was feeling better, I worked. He stayed home.
Nothing else.

~Saturday~
First day of vacation., it's so nice to know that for the rest of the time hubby is here I get to spend all of it with him.

That morning we got up early and finally got our taxes done. (Did I mention I'm a slacker?)

Then we went to the PX.

We tried to get my car inspected so no more gate guard problems, but the inspection place was closed. Hubby decided to call the dealer and see what he could do. He dropped the "I'm on leave from Iraq" card and now the dealer is going to look at the car tomorrow and take care of the problem.

Apparently crackhead upstairs FINALLY got kicked out of housing. Her divorce was finally FINAL.. but she was trying to linger as long as possible. So the MPs kept coming to make sure she was really out. YAYAYYAYAYAY!

Her hubby was here to clean out the rest of his stuff. I felt bad for him... he totally got screwed and she made him lose rank because she is such a crackhead.

I just hope the new neighbors are going to be good neighbors.

~Sunday~
The night before was "parents night out" where the base Daycare watches your kids so parents can get a break away. I have 4 amazingly great friends whose hubby's are also deployed so every parent's night out we have girls night. This was the first one I missed.... I think I have a very valid reason.

Sunday morning I open the front door and see a big smiley face balloon floating in the window of my screen. I open the door and see this balloon is tied to a basket with a card inside. I open the card and it's signed "Your jealous friends". Let's just say the basket had a bottle of wine, a pregnancy test and other "themed" goodies. Hubby and I had a big laugh about it... Army wives definitely know how to shop.LOL.

We went to Lowe's and hubby fixed the grill.(He is so useful.) Then we had mini-date night. After baby went to sleep we watched "No country for old men". Movie was kind of a let down but it was great to be able to just veg on the couch with the hub and watch a movie.

~Today~

I had to go to work for an hour today and get my yearly review.

I got a raise! YAY!

Hubby bought a video game.

(He can't play it here his XBOX is in Iraq.. hehe.)

Otherwise that was week one.