Hawaii

I have a love/hate relationship with this place.

There are positives and negatives to living in a place like this.
The weather, the water, the eye-candy... it really can be paradise.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't take for granted that I wear flip-flops and capris 365 days a year. Most days I love living here, then somedays I feel like I don't truly get the chance to experience what Hawaii has to offer.

I basically live life like a single working mom with no time for much of anything else. I might as well still be in Jersey except I've got no family here. I do, luckily, have friends that are the most amazing military wife family a girl could ever ask for.

I live in the most Romantic place on earth and I 've spent more time here alone than anything else. This seems to be the thing with me here.

When I was stationed here with my ex-hub we were here 20 months and I spent 14 of those here by myself while he went to Oki, Australia, San Diego and wherever else the Marine Corps decided to send him.

This time around in the 18 months I've been here so far the hub has been gone 11 of those months between NTC and the sandbox. I know what I signed up for but that doesn't make it any easier.

There are days where I see happy newlywed couples walking through the mall all happy, holding hands and being cutesy. I think how dare they rub their happiness in my face like that, totally not their fault, just the jealousy I feel ..that they have what I want and miss terribly.

We are now on the downside of this deployment and we only have roughly 5 months left which isn't much time. It's hard to believe that a whole year has almost gone by.. it seemed so fast yet so long.

I can't wait for him to come home, so we can once again be one of those cutesy(not so newlywed) couples that I see in the mall.

Reliving my Youth

Today I am 16 again.

90210 (the new class,lol) and the new New Kids on the Block cd both came out today.

I'm like a giddy little school girl. Sitting in Ms. Tamaru's Chemistry class talking about "OMG did you watch that new Beverly Hills show last night, like isn't that Brandon guy soooooo cute."

Hehe, oh the good ole' days.

Otherwise I got nothin.
My life is pretty lame as of lately.

I keep wanting to blog about things but by the time I get around to the computer, everything I want to blog about I either forgot or just seems irrelevent by the time I sit down.

I don't feeling like complaining about the Army and the politics of the Army today.

Today was a good day. =)

Normalcy

I'm not really sure what Normalcy really is anymore... but I think I am as close to it as I can get right now.

The punkin is back with her normal babysitter, Back-to-School is over, life seems to be back on track and there is only 25 more garbage days til the hubby is supposed to come home. I like it if I can break it down into small #s at this point.

Today is my first day off in 6 days.. I don't really like working that many days in a row, before that my BFF was here for 4 days and then before that I had worked like 3 days in a row. I'm finally getting over being sick.

Needless to say I needed the day off.
Today I was a bum.... I like days like that.

Life has been so busy it's been basically uneventuful.

I say basically because the only thing I get to report is that my Hubby had to have 30 stitches to put the skin on his knee back on.

Yup you read that right.... no worries it's not as bad as it sounds but the pics are really gross and I won't post any.

Apparently he said he was walking and tripped and caught his leg on the corner of a tile in the Pod. He took a 2 inch round chunk of skin off his leg. So he's been wrapped and in a leg brace and isn't supposed to move it. He looks like a bad Frankenstein victim with the crazy stitches.

Part of me thinks the story is crazy sketchy and makes me wonder if he acually tripped or there is more to this story and he is just trying to shield me from the truth so I don't worry.

Whatever it is ... I'll stick with the my hubby's a clutz version.

It makes me worry less.

PS-Thanx for all the Bday wishes!!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday!!!
That is my super cool Rubiks cube birthday cake for my 80s party.
(*L* did a kick ass job)

I have the bestest friends ever.

I got roses too... from hubby.

For it being my Happy birthday.
I wish I felt more happy.

Obsession

I've been MIA.
I'm alive but MIA.

A few reasons.

1-I've been busy.
2-I've been tired.
3-The Olympics is on.. like 24/7 and on like 7 channels. I'm addicted.
4- I had the FRG picnic which was a big fat joke. .. I did meet the commander's wife and she is a cool chic.
5-I haven't really had anything good to write about.
6-I think I'm more dis-illusioned than before. I may bitch about that soon. Maybe.

Lastly, I've become obsessed with the whole TWILIGHT book thing. I totally jumped on the bandwagon. The past week and a half I have spent every free waking moment reading these stupid books with the Olymipcs on in the background.

I can multi-task.

I just finished the 3rd out of the 4th book and all I want to do is get started on it and see what happens to dear Bella and her Vampire Edward and Werewolf Jacob. Ridiculous I tell ya.

I think becoming so obsessed in someone else life, be it fiction, makes me feel less lonely.

I'll take what I can get.

My BFF is flying in on Sunday and my Birthday is on Wednesday, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to blog about soon.

Yay for visitors!!!

Dis-illusionment

So apparently this deployment is starting to take its toll on my hubby.
It's not so much the deployment itself, it's the politics of the deployment.
So much so ..he is thinking of not re-enlisting.

Now this coming from the hub is not a good sign. He is one of those people who is very HOOAH Army. As much as he bitches and complains, he loves the Army and is always one of those guys trying to convince other people to stay in. He wanted to be a lifer.

Apparently not anymore.... and that makes me sad.

I want to type more about it but for fear of getting him in trouble I'll give no real details and just bitch from my point of view.

Don't get me wrong.. I love being an Army Wife but I could go either way with it.. but to see my hubby so confused and disillusioned about something that he loves and was going to make a career out of ,make him so miserable makes me sad.

What about me.. am I dis-illusioned.????

Hell yeah I am.

I've been annoyed with this Deployment since before he left.

Let's start with the FRG.
There has been no support here on the homefront for the wives left behind here.Our FRG has basically been non-existant. I do not know a single wife of any of the soldiers my hubby deployed with. Not a single one... all my friends I met because of my daughter. All of their husbands are deployed but all in different units from each other. Their FRGs are also non-existant.

This week I get an email saying we are having a "Half way through Deployment BBQ" then a voicemail about it. Are you kidding me? These are the first things I've got since January.

JANUARY PEOPLE.

Am I wrong to be annoyed by this? What about the emails just emailing to check in. Making sure I'm still alive and didn't fall into a deep depression. Isn't that what the FRG is for? I see them on TV bringing cake and welcoming new people. I got shit. I'm going to this picnic thing. Part of me wants to go to just tell someone off and tell them how half ass I think this whole thing is. The other half actually just wants to see WTF is actually going on here.

Here's my bitching part!

~I'm tired of him constantly getting shit on.
~I'm tired of him constanty getting overlooked for promotion over that past 5 years because of an injury . An injury that happened the LAST time he was in Iraq and once he returned ,was not allowed to go to his physical therapy appointments to heal properly.
~I'm tired of the lack of support the Army gives their soldiers and their families here.
~I'm tired of him not being able to call home in 22 days.
~I'm tired of the bullshit that I have to deal with on a daily basis.
~I'm tired of feeling the ramifications of shit over there when I've done nothing but stay here and be a good wife. How fair is that. I feel like I'm being punished for no reason.
~I'm annoyed that my daughter will not know who her Daddy is when he gets back and only knows him now by a picture on the wall that she blows kisses to every night before bed.

Seriously, I've had it. Had it with Hawaii, this unit, this deployment, this FRG.
I know I signed up for this when I got married but part of this bullshit I definitely didn't expect.

Sorry, for the tyraid.
I'm feeling very Italian mafioso hostile today, and I know whose bed I'd like to put a horse's head in.

Beware of a Jersey girl on a rampage!

Happy Birthday!!

Today the Hubby turned 32!

Last year he left for NTC the week after his birthday so he managed to be home for it.
This year we obviously weren't so lucky...

hopefully next year he'll be home for it.



Happy Birthday Baby!
Wish you were here.

I'm totally gonna blog tomorrow.
Like really blog.. I swear,lol.